Hmmm... well...

They say the last few pounds come off really slow. And well, I'm about the same weight as I was in AUGUST. Ahem! I told myself I would be at my target weight by Christmas, but again my motivation has got up and gone. I yo-yo between having great days, and having bad days, so I just seem to maintain.

Anyway, hopefully something to give me a bit of motivation is this photo...



which I look at and think WOW, I look so slim, even with a tiny toddler on my front, my face seems so much slimmer, and I do NOT want to put it all back on!! I would really ideally lose a little bit more, to be bang middle of the healthy weight range, and lose some of the chub from my more wobbly bits. But yes I think I need to print this out, and put it in the kitchen to serve as a reminder, perhaps along side this photo...

1 week down...

and I'm 2.5lb down! I weigh 152.5lb now and this is just 3.5lb higher than my lowest weight. I hope to be below my lowest weight of 149lb a fortnight from now! Considering I had a pretty bad weekend food wise, as it was Jonathan's birthday, much cake, sweets, and meals out, meant I was not anticipating a loss really... much less a good one like that! I would have been pleased for a maintain!

I am hoping that my weigh in next Tuesday is even better news, and I will be doing my best to focus on eating habits again!

Dinner tonight was pumpkin soup! Very nice actually, I was pleasantly surprised! I do like home-made soup, and I was also pleased that Robert ate it, as he tends to refuse soup! I think he liked the idea that the pumpkin we carved made the soup he was eating :)

Yo-yo

Well my bra arrived, I started the Couch to 5k, but I've got bored/fed up of it. :( Finding time to go out running is hard with 2 little ones, and the mental barriers of it all is too much! I would LIKE to get fit though, but I think a home based exercise programme is in order - probably a Wii Fit one would serve me better!

Also, my eating habits have slipped, we have had too many meals out or takeaways in recent weeks, plus my baking for birthdays and so on... I have decided to really see what I am eating... so am going to record my food intake on My Fitness Pal, and I am aiming to see 1 stone off by Christmas.

First weigh in: 11 stone 1 lb (or 155lb) which is up 6lb from my lowest weight. Will weigh in next Tuesday and hopefully I will have got off to a good start!

couch to 5k

I have ordered a sports bra, and as soon as it arrives, I plan to start the couch to 5k running plan. I would love to get fit, increase my stamina and tone up. Basically it is a gradual process to get you from no running experience to being able to run 3 miles over the course of 9 weeks, interspersing running with walking and over time upping the running and cutting down on the walking. I can see it as good alone time and I am quite looking forward to it. Each running session lasts for 30 minutes roughly, and you do it 3 times a week. I was thinking about doing it in the evenings after the kids had gone to bed, but Jonathan said it's getting dark by that time, and suggested I do it in the afternoons on Friday, Sunday and Tuesday. Tuesday is when the in-laws come over to help me with the shopping, I'd feel a bit guilty spending some of that time running (then showering) but I guess we could wait and see. Maybe do an early morning run, but then I really am not a morning person!

Anyway, I am looking forward to it. :)

Lowest weight, yet...

I am the lowest weight I remember being, the same as I was when I was 18, which is 153lb (roughly). I am not quite the size I was last time, I am probably less fit, higher fat ratio, and am still mainly in size 14s with some size 12s. I've dreamed of being a size 12 for years, yet now I am here (more or less), it doesn't feel good enough. I still have just under a stone to take me to my goal weight, and it's coming off soooo slowly now, but part of me is ok with that. Like I know that if I keep going the way I'm going, I'll lose the weight eventually, and it's helping set me up with a new way of eating for the rest of my life. One thing I really need to focus on, is that food isn't a filler in my life, it's not going to make me happy, or give me company, food is purely a fuel, and something I have learned is that my body needs surprisingly little fuel to run efficiently.

I am going to keep the weight off, that's one thing I swear, I want these habits to last me a lifetime, and now I am lighter, I find myself really almost ITCHING to start exercising with a gusto. I find myself wanting to go out running, I need some sports bras before I do that, and some exercise clothes. And some time!! When do people find the time to run when they have two preschoolers?!! Just some more things for me to be thinking about.

Sorting through clothes again!

I have got a huge amount of clothes that fit me, or have done recently, and I am having to sort through them again. A whole load of vest tops I have in size 16 are way too baggy for me now, and a size 16 skirt I wore to my brother's wedding in August 2005 hang around my hips, and I'm pretty sure that if I tried hard enough I could get them off without unbuttoning it. A pair of 3/4 length black trousers I found in my wardrobe, size 14, are loose on me, but they are slightly stretchy ones. Still, it's all good for the confidence boost!

I'm weighing in tomorrow, and hoping that I will be 156lb or lower, I was 156 on Sunday so lost 3lb since 15th June. I am feeling so good about myself, less so when in just underwear, but clothed, I am most certainly feeling comfortable, and I think the more weight I lose, the more likely I am to pay more attention to wearing properly fitting clothes, which highlight my weight loss, which gets me more compliments, which spurs on my weight loss! When I reach 151 lb, I will have lost 4 stone. And that is only about 5lb away! Maybe I should aim to get to that weight by my birthday, the 10 stone isn't going to happen as I had a verrrry slow couple of months, but seeing as I had originally hoped to reach 12 stone by Christopher's first birthday, and I am now very almost 11 stone, with him only 9 months old, I can't help but think I have made a huge amount of progress already, that even though I had hoped for more weight loss by now, I shouldn't be so hard on myself. Some people don't lose 4 stone in 2 years let alone what will be around 10 months.

I am really hoping that when I have my repeat glucose tolerance test this year (which might not be until December, as that's when I took my *ahem* 6 week PP one to check it was gestational only), it will show no glucose intolerance at all, and completely normal levels. And that when/if I get pregnant again, the gestational diabetes does not return.

It's working!

4 days on, and I am now 156.8lb, which is 2lb lighter! I need to lose 2.8lb over the next 6 days to reach my goal, and weigh 11 stone for the first time in about a decade! I am eating much less, thinking twice before eating something, and not going overboard on snacks. Getting into salad again as well which is good!

I'm enjoying snacking on frozen fruit, yes you read that right ;) I chop up bananas, and freeze them. Slice up a pear thinly and freeze that. Halved grapes are delicious frozen too. Because they are frozen, they take longer to eat, so whenever I feel the nibblies coming on, and I find myself in the kitchen, I take out a few pieces of frozen fruit, and that satisfies my cravings. For the most part, I just want to be eating, which is where the craving lies, so eating a few bits of frozen fruit is ideal!

Here's to getting to my first mini goal and completing my 5lb off in 10 days challenge successfully! :)

Still..

I'm still the same weight as I was back in April. This is getting OLD. Very verrry old. I have decided to aim high for the next week and a half, in the hopes that it will prompt me to stop being apathetic, to really put some effort in, to think twice before walking to the fridge, or get something out of it. I've not been perfect the last day and a half, but I have been BETTER. I figure that if I aim high (and by high, I mean, to lose 5lb in 10 days), then if I manage to even lose half that, I'll have done good, you know? I want to see 11 stone 0lb on the scales.. SOON. And I figure by setting myself a date of 25th - the day I've booked us all in to go and have family photos done with a Christmas voucher, the race is on, and hopefully I'll get near to that figure. And that within 3 weeks, I will see the 10 stone somethings on the scales once more. If I manage to get 5lb down by the 25th, then I will be on track for being 10.5 stone by my birthday, if I manage to average 2lb a week from then on.

Back to what works

The mindset of "any loss is a good loss, and a loss for good." It's back! Hurrah! My mojo has returned finally. I lost another 1lb this week, and am now down to 11 stone 5lb again, or 159lb. I am determined that I will lose again next week, be it 1lb, or 1 and a half, or 2lb, whatever. And those lbs will be gone for good too. I am never going to see 160lb on the scales again, with the exception of during pregnancy, while carrying a small child, or perhaps if I naughtily weigh myself during the day or evening, clothed over the next few weeks.

Only 2lb til my 3rd goal of losing 50lb, the combined weight (roughly) of my two boys. And only 5lb until I reach 11 stone, the weight I was when I was 18/19, that's right, how much I weighed almost TEN years ago.

If I lose just 1lb a week on average from now until Christopher's birthday in September, I will fall just 2lb short of my target weight! If I lose on average 1.5lb per week from now, I will reach my target weight by late August! If I lose 2lb per week on average, I will reach my target weight by the beginning of August! To reach my target weight by my birthday in mid-July, I will need to lose a massive 3lb a week on average for the next 6 weeks, which I really don't think is do-able anymore.

So.. for now, I am going to concentrate on eating healthily, and hopefully, the scales next week will be kind. :)

I realised today that I can't remember the last time I ate a bag of crisps. I've eaten some from a bag that have been put out on a table for everyone to dip into (a normal sized bag between 4 adults and Robert), but not for a while, and I haven't missed them at all! Not really anyway, I do like things like wotsits and would enjoy them if I had a bag, but had no real craving to get one at all. This is what I love, the fact that my habits are changing, and I'm barely realising, let alone missing. Maybe someday there will be a day where I do not crave nor miss chocolate, and ice cream too ;)

Anyway, let's see if I can make a 2lb loss by next Wednesday, and see that magic 50lb loss, and maybe pick up Robert and Christopher together to see just how much weight I have lost since Christopher was born :)

Treading water

I've been treading water for a while. Since my low carb 6lb loss I've continued trying but not with a lot of success. As such 3 weeks on I have gained back 2lb of that 6lb loss. I've probably been a bit slack on the sweet treats. Now I'm adding some carbs back but trying to focus on healthy snacking, along with keeping meals lower carb. I am going to stick to soup and salad for lunches, and try and keep limiting carbs for the evening meal. Fingers crossed that this will give me another boost into eating healthier and losing the weight again.

I weigh 161lb as of this morning, and I want that to be the last time I see the 160s on the scales again. Time to get back into it!

1 week down..

I have been low carbing (probably between 30 and 50g a day) for a week now. I weighed 165lb last Wednesday morning, started low carbing on the Thursday. This morning I weighed 157.6lb which is 7.4lb less! I am enjoying the food, it's all tasty and I'm experiencing far fewer cravings, although I do get the odd weak moment...

The main difficulty is that low carbing is not as convenient, I have to plan ahead what to eat, there is not really many things we can prepare and cook in 10-15 minutes. If I want to do this long term (adding in more carbs as time goes on, of course, so I don't *keep* losing weight past my goal weight) then I will have to invest in things to make it easier - number 1 on the list being a food processor, as finely grating an entire cauliflower is NOT quick or easy... But things aren't set in stone yet, for now, I think I am trying to boost my weight loss again - and more importantly, get into the habit of healthier eating. And enjoying what I eat. With low carbing I am naturally snacking less, as I feel full for longer, so if I decide to stop low carbing I will hopefully carry that on and that will help me keep the weight off hopefully.

I am just 0.5lb away from having lost 50lb since Christopher was born, which is astounding! We went for the SureStart's buggy walk this week, and since Jonathan is off work til Tuesday, he came along, and it was a lot of fun. Jonathan wore Christopher, and I guess when I'm wearing a baby I tend to look bulkier, as I took it off, to let Jonathan put it on, and immediately got compliments about my weight loss and "don't you look well!"

I still feel happier clothed than in skimpy clothes, but that is a start, definitely. I think very soon it is time for me to start toning up and doing exercises, and now I am lighter, it would be the ideal time to start! It might slow weight loss, due to muscle weighing more than fat, but should help get rid of the inches faster, plus get me fitter.

I am already noticing how much fitter I feel just for having lost the weight, I ran around the living room chasing Robert the other day, and did so for quite a long time, and yes I got a bit tired, but it was good tired, not the dehabilitating tiredness I'd get before after some exercise. And it felt good to be doing such a fun physical game with my son that I always felt too sluggish to do before.

About one and a half stones left to lose (19-21 lb roughly). I can do it! :)

An END to this stagnation!

I am getting fed up of hovering, I've been yo-yoing AGAIN around the 165lb mark, so I had a day of really kicking my bum into gear, no snacking, but lots and lots of drinking! I was craving snacks so badly, I wasn't hungry but I wanted to eat eat eat! Luckily we (read I, mostly) had eaten all the chocolate and ice cream in the house so there was none left for me to snack on.

Then on Thursday I thought lets try low carb again. And so far, I've done pretty well! I'm still on the low carb, I've had the odd bit of fruit as snacks, and so far each day I have had something high carb but I would have had it along with a lot more carbs as well, so overall done pretty well. I had 3 slices of pizza on Thursday night. I was actually pretty impressed that I felt full and did not WANT to eat more, usually I may have managed 5 slices. Friday I had an ice cream after an otherwise perfect low carb day, which was actually not that bad. And today I have had 2 choc ices (which are pretty low carb considering, and came to less than the ice cream yesterday.) but other than that been eating low carb. Dinner I think I will do some chicken tonight (a fairly low carb sauce) with some cauliflower rice. I did weigh in this morning and I was 161.6 lb which I was pretty thrilled at, is definitely my lowest weight so far in this weight loss period, and for a LONG time (almost a decade). It would be pretty awesome to see the 150s on the scales on Wednesday.

I used to think that low carb diets were dangerous, but having done research on them, I think they're pretty healthy actually. The sort of foods I am cooking certainly seem more nutritious, plenty more vegetables and salads, with dairy and meat. I can't wait to try some more things. I think I will be buying cauliflowers in bulk haha :) Not sure how long I will keep this up, I'm already doing better than last time, and enjoying it more. Plus I don't think that any carb slip up is "ruining" it. Obviously the lower carb the better, but the odd carbs will not ruin everything, so fingers crossed this attitude can help :)

hmmm well..

Last Wednesday weigh in saw me back up 2.5lb of the 3.5lb I lost over the week I was ill, weighing in at 165.5 lb.

I've had a few meals out this week, and yesterday, I had a VERY bad day food wise... but as this is a blog and it is good to be completely honest to prompt me into eating better and not doing the same again... I ate an entire giant easter egg that was given to me on Sunday... apparently 1/4 of the egg contained almost 400 calories.. so I had probably about 1500 calories yesterday of CHOCOLATE never mind my breakfast and lunch... I decided to skip dinner and have an early night.

This morning I weighed myself to see what the damage would be, and had a reading of 162.5 lb. Erm, what the?? I don't particularly think I've had a good week even not considering yesterday. Was it the skipped dinner? Maybe I am eating my main meals far too late at night, sometimes as late as 9pm, but usually after the kids are both in bed, so around 8pmish. Maybe I should start eating my main meal for lunch with the kids, and a light meal around 5-ish with the kids instead of a light meal at lunchtime, around 12, then a large meal at 8ish. And save a portion for Jonathan to take to work with him for the next day's lunch. That might help him to lose some weight too which I think he wants to do. He's a lower BMI than I am, but he's around the same weight I was when Christopher was born. I guess being 6'5" helps in that regards ;)

It's worth giving that a try I guess, switching main meals and trying not to eat too late, then Jonathan can grab something when he gets back in the evening. If I do that today, I wonder if I'll get a good weigh in on the scales tomorrow on my official weigh in day.

Another comparison

I took a photo today, and I found an appropriate photo from when Robert was very young, when I was around 15.5-16 stone in weight. The difference is astounding.

Then:


Now:

Illness, a silver lining.

I have been so ill for the last week, first head cold symptoms, progressing to nausea, then on Monday, the diarrhoea that Robert had on Wednesday last week hit me. I lost count how many times I went. I lost so much water so I was drinking pint after pint of squash to compensate. I still have the nausea and the odd bout of diarrhoea.

But the good news though is that it helped me to lose 3.5lb this week, which puts me at a weight of 163lb, or 11 stone 9lb, and also at a BMI of 24.8 which is in the healthy weight bracket at last! I am getting there slowly but surely.
I must get round to re-doing my measurements, I last did them about a stone ago.

Another stone down

In January 2009 I weighed 15 stone 11lb. This was 2 months after Robert was born, we were adjusting to life with a baby, ordering lots of takeaways as we were struggling to find time to cook. I was also suffering with postnatal depression so I guess it's no surprise my weight shot up.

By January 2010 I weighed 14 stone. Then I got pregnant with Christopher and my weight went up past 15 stone again. By the time he was 4 days old I weighed 14 stone 11lb.

Today I weighed in at 11 stone 11lb, which is 3 stone lighter than I weighed 6 months ago, and 4 stone lighter than I weighed 26 months ago.

I look at myself clothed in the mirror and like what I see. I feel much better already but I do still want to lose more weight and get fitter. Less than 2 stone to go. I'm glad it's carrying on well now.

Under 12 stone!

I lost 2.5lb this week! Making my grand total so far a fairly impressive 40.5lb! Just 1.5lb away from having lost 3 whole stone since Christopher's birth.

I have now surpassed my original goal of 12 stone by October, so any extra weight lost is now a bonus! I would love to reach my target by my birthday but so far just taking it one step at a time. Next goal is to reach a healthy BMI, which is at 163lb (just 3.5lb away) and that will put me in the healthy weight range for the first time since 2004 or 2005! And it also marks a weight loss of around 20% of my original weight! I would like to get there no later than 3 weeks time!

1lb down.

I didn't have the best of weeks eating wise. I did a fair amount of comfort eating due to a breakdown of a friendship, and then the weekend saw us at the in-laws for the whole time due to an internet problem that Jonathan needed to fix, so I ended up eating more than I usually do. But I still managed to lose 1lb.

I'm now 12 stone 1lb, and just ONE pound away from my original target of 12 stone by October. I am hoping for 2lb next week, and I will renew my efforts this week. A lot has been going on this week, lots of changes are being made, both in attitude and things going on in my life, so fingers crossed it'll be a positive start, and get the second half of this weight loss back on track.

2 stone to lose in 4 months. I can do that, that's only 7lb a month. 2lb this week would be a good start. First resolution - drink more water/squash. I will aim to have a drink in the room at all times. If it's there, it does get drunk. Lets see how that does for me this week. The first time I tried that, I lose 3.5lb that week, so maybe I can do that, if I do I'll almost be at 3 stone in weight lost.

On the wagon again.

Well, I weighed in on Wednesday, at 169.8lbs, which is 12 stone 1.8lbs. I would class that as 170lb normally, but seeing as I have been in the 170s since JANUARY I decided that I would class it as 169.8. :) Finally in the next bracket down. I am now on the wagon again, and hoping to see a decent loss on the scales next Wednesday. Hopefully enough to take me to 12 stone! I have come up with a bunch of mini-goals.

Goal 1 is 12 stone. (168lb) Should be do-able either this week or next!

Goal 2 is to have lost just over 20% of my original weight and be into the "healthy" BMI bracket. (163lb)

Goal 3 is to lose the combined weight of my two children. Robert is about 35lb, Christopher is about 15lb - so that's 50lb - so a weigh in of 157lb.

Goal 4 is to be 11 stone. (154lb)

Goal 5 is to have lost 30% of my original weight. (145lb)

And Goal 6 is to be 10 stone. (140lb)

One of the gaps are a little large, eg a 9lb gap between goals 4 and 5. But I'll see how I feel once I get there, see if I need to add an intermediary goal.


I had a take-away last night, but I had less than I would eat normally, and I am going to make a conscious effort to eat better for the rest of the week. I will make sure to have healthy foods, and I think it would be a good idea to give up "baking" for lent ;) No flapjacks, biscuits, cakes. They are becoming my downfall!

Let's see the 12 stone on the scales again now eh!

I wanted to be...

12 stone or lower by now. I still have to weigh in tomorrow, but I am not yet below 170lb let alone 168lb which is 12 stone.

I have reached a plateau, and have been around the 171-174lb mark for about a month now. The last time this happened, I just gave up, and piled the weight back on again. The furthur I get into this weight loss journey, the more I learn about myself, the more I learn that things do not always get handed to you on a silver platter. Sometimes you have to work for things for very little visible gain. But right now, despite the scales hovering annoyingly (devastatingly) around the 172lb mark, I am learning that it does not mean that I "can't do this". It's just one of those things I need to wait for. Wait for my body to get back into rhythm, wait for my body to signal the green light again. Take this time to fine tune my eating, experiment with recipes, get back into good habits. I am not going to give up this easily. I have lost two and a half stone since my second son was born. Just two stone to go and I am around my ideal weight. I have given away all my bigger clothes, so that is one reason that I do not want to give up. I gave them away just at the right time I think, literally just before the plateau hit!

I am hopeful that I will start to lose weight again soon. This is just another thing that is making me realise how strong I am now. I posted with regards to my plateau on another friend's blog, and her reply really did help me out, there is no need to give up when you reach a plateau, things do continue, the only thing I need to do is stay positive, don't throw my toys out of the pram just because I'm not getting what I want NOW. Good things come to those who wait. I am waiting, and working hard at staying positive. I will start losing again soon.

For now, a more lenient goal of 167lb by the end of March should be do-able. I wanted to get there by the end of February, and that didn't happen, but hopefully I will start to dip again and I will be able to exceed that goal and get some "mojo" back, and get into the swing of things again.

Interesting and true

I read an article in the Daily Mail Website and it strikes a brilliant tone with me. Find it here. I found myself nodding along to this. I was encouraged (bribed? coerced?) to eat every morsel on my plate as a child. (So much so I found myself, as an adult, feeling guilty if I went to my Dad's house and left food on the plate at the end of the meal) I probably got chocolate and sweets as "treats" for good behaviour, and so on. And sometimes I think how these childhood eating habits do pave the way to bad adult eating habits. This should really go in my parenting blog too, as I feel sometimes as parents we do want to "make sure" our kids are eating enough of their dinner. And I need to catch myself I think before we ingrain too much into Robert's habits about eating. I don't want him to struggle with weight like I have done. I want him to learn himself when he is full, not go by the amount of food on his plate. But at the same time I don't want him to fill up with junk. I don't keep a lot of "junk" in the house, but sometimes I worry he's not getting all the nutrients he needs as he snacks on a lot of fruit and then his dinner goes untouched. I guess, one way to stop that is to cut down grazing, into set snack times, and any fruit requests wait til snack time or after the meal as pudding. And if he doesn't eat his dinner, make it clear that if he isn't hungry that's ok, but if he is, all he will have is his dinner.

Anywayyy. I think bad eating habits left over from childhood are hard to conquer, and it's those that we have to get rid of in order to succeed at losing weight and keeping it off. Learning to put down the fork when you stop feeling hungry. Something I need to work on is conquering my feeling of guilt when I am not hungry enough for my whole plate of food. I feel terribly guilty for wasting food, and not eating it all. So I eat it all, regardless of whether I am hungry or not. Perhaps the trick, when eating where I am not serving the food, is to ask for smaller portions, if I know the portions would otherwise be quite large.

My eating habits on the whole are hugely better than they were. I remember, 6 or 7 years ago, the number of takeaways a week we had was astounding. More than 1 a week is too many really. These days, very occasionally we might have two a week, but then we won't have any for several weeks. To be honest, I find myself craving them less often. I prefer homecooked food and the lure of pizza, or chippie, or chinese, isn't as great as it was.

I made a shepherd's pie on Tuesday. I don't often get the time to make them because it is a lot of prep time, and time I am stuck in the kitchen, but Tuesday afternoons are actually the ideal time to do them, as the in-laws are over and they can watch the boys while I prepare a dinner that we can stock up the freezer with.

I have bought some Chicken Tonight sauces, some curry pastes, so while those aren't completely homecooked, they're closer than takeaway ;) Lots of fresh veg in the house. I'm looking forward to doing some more couscous, perhaps with a baked chicken breast for a more substancial meal, and the curries etc. I've also bought a butternut squash, something I've never bought before but I figured, hey, lets try something with it! Homemade soups are lovely, One of my favourites is broccoli and cauliflower, but I also love courgette soup, and I might try making the squash into a soup.

Anyway, I got complimented on my weight loss again today. It certainly helps when you wear more fitted clothes! ;)

I have slowed down a lot the last few weeks, only lost 1lb overall the last 3 weeks, but hoping that with a renewed zest, I can get back on track. Perhaps I was getting too complacent? I would love to be in my size 12s by April/May. I'm only just fitting into some of my 14s so unless I properly get back on track and start losing 2+ lb a week average I don't think I have a chance of that yet! :)

Tonight, what to have... Hmmm. Perhaps couscous, or one of the Chicken Tonights. Better get the chicken out to defrost :)

Down to..

12 stone 3lb. Which is a 1lb loss over 3 weeks, or a 2.5lb loss from last week. I'm going to re-double my efforts to lose as much weight as I can next week, to regain my mojo. I badly want to see the 11 stone somethings, it's not realistically going to happen by next week, but maybe, hopefully, it'll happen by the week after, and instead I am going to aim for seeing the 160s on the scales next week. I am going to try and get back into the habit of drinking tea/squash/water/herbal tea whenever I get the urge to snack, and hopefully the weight will start to drop again.

I am so so close to the size 12s. I think I should be able to get into some by the time I'm 11 stone. And that is only a stone away! (Well, and 3lb, but 3lb is nothing!) Come on 11stones... :)

Low carb. Puhh-huh.

Well I tried to go low carb for a few days. I failed spectacularly, but not only that, it felt so un-natural to me. And as such I felt like everything was a chore. I lost a bit of the umph I had, and I felt like I was on "a diet" as opposed to eating sensibly. Also after those 2 days when I admitted defeat, it took me a while to get back into my way of thinking.

That's not to say I won't cook any more low carb meals. But telling myself I am going low carb all day... that adds in a little extra something that makes it difficult to do. I've had a couple of weeks setback, but I am hovering around the 12 stone 4lb mark, I will most likely not reach 12 stone by March, but I am hoping to get close, and either way I think I will do my best to get back into my old rhythm. I'll get back on track.

I have to, because I have no desire to stay in size 16s. I want to pass through size 14s as quickly as is safely possible. I am fitting some size 14 clothes, which I find amazing, although I have been having a negative body vibe lately. Feeling that my arms are too wobbly, that my thighs are too huge, my belly too saggy. But at the same time, I see my reflection when clothed and think wow, I have a waistline. Wow, my boobs actually stick out over my belly.

My mini goal is still in place, although I think it's a huge challenge to complete it in time now, but we shall see how well I can do. Either way I am not losing sight of the final goal posts. I can still do it by summer, I just have to stay determined. And by completing each mini-sprint, I can complete the marathon.

WOW

Well, Jonathan and I have a funeral to attend on Wednesday, and since we have no appropriate attire that fits, we went shopping with the boys for some new clothes. I found a long black skirt, and grabbed a size 14 (thinking hey, let's give it a try), and a size 16 off the rack. And then found a black top, and did the same again. They were both stretchy, so I thought I'd be able to get them both on in some sort of fashion, although I thought the size 14s would probably be too tight and just look stupid.

Anyway, I tried on the size 14s first, and amazingly, they both fit!! The top was a little too tight to be honest, on the arms mainly, and the chest. I decided to buy the size 14 skirt (as it wasn't too tight, and I will be able to wear it a lot longer than one that is too big!) and the size 16 top.

Here's a picture of me wearing both size 14 top and skirt. :)



Compared to this photo of me just under 3 months pregnant with Christopher and wearing size 18 maternity...

Getting back on track.

I lost the 0.5lb I gained last week yesterday. So I'm now back to 172lb, and I would like to lose another 2-3lb this week. 3lb ideally, as that would take me into the 160s!!! I'm so excited about being there! As that would be almost 40lb lost since October, I do get so excited about being in the next 10s down, and it gives me a new goal to focus on almost naturally! I can hardly believe I'm only 3lb away from the 160s, and only 1 stone away from the 150s!

Small goals are definitely the way to go, but keeping the bigger goal there as well. That bigger goal is of course 10 stone by July. But my immediate short term goal is 12 stone or just over by the last February weigh in. I don't know what my next goal will be after that. Maybe getting to 25% less body weight, which is a 51 lb loss in total, and that'll be 156lb. Maybe that's a bit too much of a leap for short term goal. I guess I'll see how I feel once I get to 12 stone or just under. Maybe say half a stone by April or something. And in my size 14s.

I didn't have a good low carb day yesterday. Kept falling off, and it didn't help that I baked biscuits with Robert ;)

Today I will do better though, and try my hardest to not deviate. If I can do a complete low carb diet (only allowing a few pieces of fruit) for a few days, that should get me properly back on track. Should read the recipe book I got for Xmas again ;) But I think today I will try and have a tuna and egg mayo salad for lunch, and make a cauliflower and broccoli soup for dinner, which Jonathan can have with bread. With snacks of cheese with tomato, and some fruit.

Not too bad considering.

Well I was expecting a 2+lb gain this week. But I minimised the damage and am only 0.5lb above last week's weight, so I'm quite pleased with that actually.

This week I will be better. No two ways about it, I WILL do better this week. I want to be in the 11 stone somethings by March, which means losing 5lb this month. I need to get below 168lb to be under 12 stone, and I'm 172.5lb.

I got a low carb cookbook for Christmas, and I have already made myself some things from there, I think I will look some more at it and see what is easy to make from there. I want to try a day or two of low carbing to get back on track, and get a reasonable loss next week. See how I go with it anyway! I started off today with a breakfast muffin - sausage and egg basically. If I do well on it today I will try again tomorrow. I want to try my hardest because apparently when you go low carb you also stop getting cravings, plus the high protein fills you up so you're less hungry too.

I can do this, I need to lose between 1.5 and 2lb a week to lose the 5lb by the end of the month, so that's not too bad a goal.

When I'm below 12 stone I think I will bug Jonathan to go and get me my size 14 clothes from the loft.

I have come a long way. When I have been losing weight before, a week like last week would have led me to binge and then, seeing the massive gain, I would spiral down into a "I can't do this" way of thinking, and stop trying, and then bam, the weight gain would continue. I feel that to have done this, to have had a bad week, but tried to not over-do it, to be able to minimise the damage and stay positive, I feel that I have overcome a big mental blockade that a few years back I just wasn't able to do. And now I am at a place to be able to do it, mentally and physically.

Hmmm

Well I know there are still 2 days to go, but I have a sneaking suspicion I will be back up to 174.5 on Wednesday. I have had a bad week, food wise. Pizza on Wednesday night, bad snacking day on Thursday, 4 pieces of flapjack on Friday, ok day on Saturday, then a Harvester's lunch yesterday followed by another bit of flapjack and a bit of cake. I will try my best to limit the damage as much as possible over the next two days, but I am prepared for a gain either way... and hopefully next week will be better. I'm still on track for the 11 stone somethings by the beginning of March, fingers crossed I can get myself back on track properly.

2.5 stone down

Well I lost 2.5lb total this last week, which puts me at 12 stone 4lbs, or 172lbs. I still find myself astounded to see the 170s on the scales even when fully dressed, with shoes on and having just finished a meal. It really doesn't seem like that long ago I was seeing the 190s. And it seems unreal that I will soon be in the 160s.

I tried on a size 16 skirt I bought for my brother's wedding back in August '05. I didn't get to wear it for much longer, and now it is LOOSE! I don't think I have any size 14 clothes down yet, but I should get them down soon so I can see just how close (or far!) I am from fitting in them.

I am 8lb away from a healthy BMI... so close! I am getting there!

February

My first official February weigh in is tomorrow, but I did sneakily step on the scales this morning and I weighed 172.5lb, which is 2lb down from last Wednesday. I'm hoping to maintain that or lose a bit more. As the weeks go on I am becoming more and more determined. And I am seeing results, albeit mainly on the scales, with a bit in my clothes. I'm around 4lb away from that 12 stone which I want to be at by March, and with a 2lb a week loss, I should get there in plenty of time, and hopefully... just maybe... I will be a size 14 by March if I keep going, keep losing the weight and keep my perspective. When I gave birth just over 4 months ago, I wouldn't have dreamed that by the time my baby was just 4 months old I'd have lost about 2 and a half stone. But I think to me, while some people were telling me in the early days to "give yourself time" and "leave it a few weeks" etc, I think for me I needed to get going straight away. And to be fair, in the early weeks, I didn't do much really apart from watching my weight, and try and not eat too much junk, as in the months after Robert was born, we ate terribly, so many takeaways it was unreal. Then when Christopher was about 6 weeks old, I tried to focus on my problem areas, mainly snacking.

I feel like I am getting snacking under control. And my portion sizes are more appropriate, and I am drinking more. I think my stomach must be shrinking back to a better size, my appetite is less, and I am able to go without a lot of lunch, getting energy I need from fruit, and whatever Robert doesn't finish.

I bought some new bras at the weekend (and actually bought the wrong size again.. oops! I bought a cupsize too small! But hoping that as I lose more weight they'll fit better and I don't keep popping out of them so much! lol) but even though they are nursing bras, they are SEXY! I feel so much more womanly, they give me more figure, and they're so pretty! I got my first complement in AGES from Jonathan when I put it on, and then I got another when I put on a size 16 top I hadn't worn in years. Part of me is itching to buy some new clothes, but I think, if only I can wait, just a little while longer, make do with what I have for the next month or two, then I will be able to get down my size 14 clothes from the loft! And I think to myself how fabulous would that be... just hang on for a while longer Nicola, then you can wear those, and then with more weightloss, you can get down your size 12s... then at your target weight you can go shopping with birthday money.

It feels like this dream is finally coming true, with a little perseverance, a lot of will power, and determination. After gaining the weight steadily for a decade, losing then gaining some again twice or thrice in that time, I feel fantastic for sticking with it all, and amazed that my goal isn't out of reach, it is completely do-able, and I will get there. I will, and I can't wait! And best of all, I am not seeing how I am eating as a diet, as a chore, it has already become second nature. This is a lifestyle change. Now the challenge will be encorporating exercise in to being a lifestyle change.

Another small loss

I'm now 12 stone 6.5lb, having lost 1.5lb this week. Which is 174.5lbs. I like seeing the pure lbs figures, as this really does give me a sense for just how much weight I have lost, when I think I was 207lb just 4 months ago. 4 months ago I weighed 32.5 lbs heavier than I do now. And when I lose another lb, I will have lost half the total weight I want to lose! But even more amazing is when I think that when I lose another 20lb, I will be back to the weight I was at in my teens. And 20lbs is nothing! Well, it is something, and it will take me a good few months to get there, but when I think that the last time I was at that weight was 10 years ago, I think that a few months IS nothing. And having lost 32 pounds already, that 20 isn't very much at all.

But for now, my next short term goal is to be 12 stone by my first March weigh in, which will be 2nd March. Which is about 1.5lb weight loss average a week. It would be nice if I could be in the high 11 stone somethings by then, but am aiming for 12 stone exactly, as it is a do-able goal, will mean I have to stay on track throughout, but not too difficult, and I COULD do better if I really try my hardest.

This weekend I really need to think about getting myself some new bras. My current bras are (if my measuring is correct) completely the wrong size at 42D, I think I am infact now a 38F!! If I get myself cheapy ones, or as cheap as I can find, because hopefully in a few months time I will need entirely different ones again ;)

12 stone 8lb

Well, I am now weighing in at a slight 12 stone 8lb (compared to the 14 stone 11lb I was less than 4 months ago! - and the around about 16 stone I was the day I was induced but not yet had the baby!), having lost 4lb this week!

I originally set myself the goal of getting to 12 stone by October 2011. I have 8lb to lose to get to that goal, and I would LOVE to get there by the end of February, and be in the 11 stone-somethings by the beginning of March! I have just 12lb to lose until I am in the NORMAL weight bracket!!! I seriously cannot fathom being in that weight bracket, the last time I remember being in it for sure was in 2002... 9 years ago!

I got a low carb recipe book for Christmas, and having flicked through it, I am tempted to start making myself at least one low carb meal a day. Yesterday was baked paprika chicken breast with "cauliflower rice". Which is basically grated cauliflower, which is stir-fried up with garlic, mushrooms, egg, and I added some cheese to it as well. I used a whole bulb of garlic chopped finely (I love the stuff), about 5 or 6 thinly sliced mushrooms, and fried those off in some oil. Then added 2 eggs which I scrambled in with the garlic and mushrooms, and then added about 1.5lb of grated cauliflower (medium grater), seasoned. Stir fried that for about 10 minutes, and then added some grated cheese, and stired it in til melted. Yum :)

I would think to myself how can anyone have a meal without potatoes, or bread, or pasta/rice. And now I realise hey, potato is a vegetable. So why not replace that vegetable with different vegetables with a lower carb count? :)

The only problem with going low carb is the fact that everyone else is going to be going low carb too essentially. I guess I'll have to make sure that Robert still gets his sandwiches and toast, and baked potatoes etc. Jonathan has told me that he wants to lose some weight too, so I'm sure he won't mind too much.

I must admit though, I am a little daunted by how if you want to go low carb, it's hard to do so without freshly preparing everything. Gone will be the convenience foods of cereal, canned soup, pies to cook from frozen, etc. But there are so many other things we can have instead I guess, and will try and look into getting more recipe books to look through.

As well as losing weight, it will help with my impaired glucose tolerance, as I'll be taking in less sugar, so it will be less likely that I develop diabetes.

I do so hope I can get down to my ideal weight by my birthday. How fab would it be to ask people for money this year, and get to spend it all on new clothes so I look and feel fantastic? :)

New goal

Well it's now New Year, and I am down below 13 stone!!! I have started to weigh myself naked, as that is the most consistent. So I am officially 12 stone 10lb at 178lbs.

My overall aim now is to be down to my ideal weight by my birthday in July. I have 26 weeks to lose 34-38lb. Which is an average weightloss of 1.5lb a week. This is to my IDEAL weight of 10 stone or 10 stone 4lb, around that mark. When I say 34lb that just makes it seem like a drop in the bucket. I can do this! I really can! Even though I've had a bad few weeks what with it being Xmas, and the over-eating you get into the habit of. I have lost 29lb so far, and with only another 34-38lb to lose TOTAL, that's just over the same again. I can TOTALLY do this. And what a fab birthday present than to get to the size you want to be, and to do a massive shopping spree!

I will be asking for money for my birthday this year for anyone who gets me birthday presents, which I will spend on CLOTHES CLOTHES CLOTHES! I will revamp my wardrobe and take some pride in myself, and my body. By the time I get there, I will have acquired good eating habits, and hopefully good exercise habits too. Christopher will be 10 months old, and Robert almost 3, and I will hopefully have tonnes more energy to deal with 2 small ones! I cannot wait until I can say that I have worked towards my goal, stuck with it, and done it all by myself, and reap the rewards of looking my best, and hopefully a complement or two along the way. I want to be comfortable in myself, and I am well on the way to that.

I am 43% of the way towards my ideal weight. 10-12lb more lost and I should hopefully be in a size 14. I would like to be in a size 14 by March. And a size 12 by May/June. And some generous 10s by July :)

2 days til first 2011 weigh in.

I am sooo hoping for a loss this week. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to start out the new year at under 13 stone, so ANY loss this week will give me that, as last Wednesday I weighed in at 13 stone exactly.

I am going to try and rifle through my wardrobe this week, and box/bag up any size 20, and very very loose 18s. Or maybe all 18s, depending on how much size 16 stuff I have, as I am now officially a size 16, both top and bottom!

I am thrilled, and it all seems a bit of a huge jump, as I have been an 18/20 for longer than I care to remember, but since Christopher's birth, I have been living in maternity trousers and baggy t-shirts. But yesterday and today, I have been wearing my size 16 jeans, and size 16 sweaters! I have a size 16 skirt (which I think is a little on the small side right now, but not actually tried it on yet) that I've not worn since my brother's wedding... AUGUST 2005!!! So not been this size in over 5 years!!

At first I was a little apprehensive about this coming weigh in, as we've demolished an entire tub of Quality Street chocs this week (except the toffee pennies haha!), as well has having other chocs, and treats. However, we have skipped lunch on a few occasions (not out of habit or wanting to particularly skip meals, but through being busy), and I've stepped on the scales a few times over the last few days, and after brekkie this morning, fully clothed, I was about 182lb (13 stone!) so with 2 days to go of watching snacking and treats (we've not got much more left thankfully!!), I am hoping for a 2lb loss this week, but even 1lb or 0.5lb would be GREAT! And technically, I am under 13 stone, as I weigh myself clothed.

When the Xmas decorations come down (probably this weekend), I will be asking Jonathan to get my size 14 clothes out of the loft ready for hopefully a month or so time when I should be able to fit in them. I'm estimating that I will be able to fit in them once I reach 12 stone, and if I lose 2lb a week, I hope I'll be in them by the middle of February :) And I think a size 12 should be attainable by the time I reach 11 stone (I was around 11 stone last time I was in a size 12) And then I aim to lose about half a stone more so I settle around 10 and a half stone, and get to a comfortable size 12, or maybe some size 10s. With 10 stone being I think the lowest weight I will aim for. (10 stone will give me a BMI of 21.3. I am currently a BMI of 27.7 (and was 31.5 after Christopher was born)

My weight loss chart I have in a spreadsheet on the computer reckons that I will reach a weight of 144lb (10 stone 4lb, which is 4 and a half stone less than what I weighed when C was 4 days old) by mid May this year. Based on my weightloss since the end of September that is. I would be thrilled if I could lose over 10 years worth of weight-gain, including two pregnancies, in 8 months. But I am prepared for it to take a little longer. Any weight lost below 12 stone is a bonus for me, because I initially made a goal of getting down to 12 stone by October 2011, so if I manage my ultimate goal before then, I will be over the moooooon!

Anyway, Christopher is waking up, so its time to get him up :)