Yo-yo

Well my bra arrived, I started the Couch to 5k, but I've got bored/fed up of it. :( Finding time to go out running is hard with 2 little ones, and the mental barriers of it all is too much! I would LIKE to get fit though, but I think a home based exercise programme is in order - probably a Wii Fit one would serve me better!

Also, my eating habits have slipped, we have had too many meals out or takeaways in recent weeks, plus my baking for birthdays and so on... I have decided to really see what I am eating... so am going to record my food intake on My Fitness Pal, and I am aiming to see 1 stone off by Christmas.

First weigh in: 11 stone 1 lb (or 155lb) which is up 6lb from my lowest weight. Will weigh in next Tuesday and hopefully I will have got off to a good start!

couch to 5k

I have ordered a sports bra, and as soon as it arrives, I plan to start the couch to 5k running plan. I would love to get fit, increase my stamina and tone up. Basically it is a gradual process to get you from no running experience to being able to run 3 miles over the course of 9 weeks, interspersing running with walking and over time upping the running and cutting down on the walking. I can see it as good alone time and I am quite looking forward to it. Each running session lasts for 30 minutes roughly, and you do it 3 times a week. I was thinking about doing it in the evenings after the kids had gone to bed, but Jonathan said it's getting dark by that time, and suggested I do it in the afternoons on Friday, Sunday and Tuesday. Tuesday is when the in-laws come over to help me with the shopping, I'd feel a bit guilty spending some of that time running (then showering) but I guess we could wait and see. Maybe do an early morning run, but then I really am not a morning person!

Anyway, I am looking forward to it. :)

Lowest weight, yet...

I am the lowest weight I remember being, the same as I was when I was 18, which is 153lb (roughly). I am not quite the size I was last time, I am probably less fit, higher fat ratio, and am still mainly in size 14s with some size 12s. I've dreamed of being a size 12 for years, yet now I am here (more or less), it doesn't feel good enough. I still have just under a stone to take me to my goal weight, and it's coming off soooo slowly now, but part of me is ok with that. Like I know that if I keep going the way I'm going, I'll lose the weight eventually, and it's helping set me up with a new way of eating for the rest of my life. One thing I really need to focus on, is that food isn't a filler in my life, it's not going to make me happy, or give me company, food is purely a fuel, and something I have learned is that my body needs surprisingly little fuel to run efficiently.

I am going to keep the weight off, that's one thing I swear, I want these habits to last me a lifetime, and now I am lighter, I find myself really almost ITCHING to start exercising with a gusto. I find myself wanting to go out running, I need some sports bras before I do that, and some exercise clothes. And some time!! When do people find the time to run when they have two preschoolers?!! Just some more things for me to be thinking about.

February

My first official February weigh in is tomorrow, but I did sneakily step on the scales this morning and I weighed 172.5lb, which is 2lb down from last Wednesday. I'm hoping to maintain that or lose a bit more. As the weeks go on I am becoming more and more determined. And I am seeing results, albeit mainly on the scales, with a bit in my clothes. I'm around 4lb away from that 12 stone which I want to be at by March, and with a 2lb a week loss, I should get there in plenty of time, and hopefully... just maybe... I will be a size 14 by March if I keep going, keep losing the weight and keep my perspective. When I gave birth just over 4 months ago, I wouldn't have dreamed that by the time my baby was just 4 months old I'd have lost about 2 and a half stone. But I think to me, while some people were telling me in the early days to "give yourself time" and "leave it a few weeks" etc, I think for me I needed to get going straight away. And to be fair, in the early weeks, I didn't do much really apart from watching my weight, and try and not eat too much junk, as in the months after Robert was born, we ate terribly, so many takeaways it was unreal. Then when Christopher was about 6 weeks old, I tried to focus on my problem areas, mainly snacking.

I feel like I am getting snacking under control. And my portion sizes are more appropriate, and I am drinking more. I think my stomach must be shrinking back to a better size, my appetite is less, and I am able to go without a lot of lunch, getting energy I need from fruit, and whatever Robert doesn't finish.

I bought some new bras at the weekend (and actually bought the wrong size again.. oops! I bought a cupsize too small! But hoping that as I lose more weight they'll fit better and I don't keep popping out of them so much! lol) but even though they are nursing bras, they are SEXY! I feel so much more womanly, they give me more figure, and they're so pretty! I got my first complement in AGES from Jonathan when I put it on, and then I got another when I put on a size 16 top I hadn't worn in years. Part of me is itching to buy some new clothes, but I think, if only I can wait, just a little while longer, make do with what I have for the next month or two, then I will be able to get down my size 14 clothes from the loft! And I think to myself how fabulous would that be... just hang on for a while longer Nicola, then you can wear those, and then with more weightloss, you can get down your size 12s... then at your target weight you can go shopping with birthday money.

It feels like this dream is finally coming true, with a little perseverance, a lot of will power, and determination. After gaining the weight steadily for a decade, losing then gaining some again twice or thrice in that time, I feel fantastic for sticking with it all, and amazed that my goal isn't out of reach, it is completely do-able, and I will get there. I will, and I can't wait! And best of all, I am not seeing how I am eating as a diet, as a chore, it has already become second nature. This is a lifestyle change. Now the challenge will be encorporating exercise in to being a lifestyle change.

Been a while

So it's been a while since I updated here. I've been trying for a baby since August, so in some respects I've been fairly distracted from losing weight, thinking maybe this month, then maybe the month after... so I've been hovering.

I found out I was pregnant at the end of January, with a baby due in October. I am doing my best not to eat whatever I feel like whenever I feel like it, using the pregnancy as an excuse for eating for 2 (when actually I should be eating for one-and-a-little-bit).

I am almost 10 weeks pregnant and so far I have not really gained any weight with this pregnancy. I've not been trying to lose weight per-se, just trying to eat sensible portions, and do 30 minutes of gentle exercise a day 5 days a week, to try and tone up, and hopefully, I will be the same weight I am now once the baby is born.

Combined with not eating junk for months after the baby is born, and breastfeeding, hopefully I will lose weight fairly steadily, and oh it would be lovely, if when this baby is 1 year old, for me to be down to 12 stone! I am currently 14 stone 2 lbs so that's 2 stone (hopefully, if I manage to only gain baby weight) in a year. In fact, 4 stone in a year might even be do-able, which would bring me down to my ideal weight, and I would be over the moon.

Oh, it looks great on paper, but I guess we'll see what the next 16 months bring!

Weight at 10 weeks pregnant: 14 stone 2 lb