February

My first official February weigh in is tomorrow, but I did sneakily step on the scales this morning and I weighed 172.5lb, which is 2lb down from last Wednesday. I'm hoping to maintain that or lose a bit more. As the weeks go on I am becoming more and more determined. And I am seeing results, albeit mainly on the scales, with a bit in my clothes. I'm around 4lb away from that 12 stone which I want to be at by March, and with a 2lb a week loss, I should get there in plenty of time, and hopefully... just maybe... I will be a size 14 by March if I keep going, keep losing the weight and keep my perspective. When I gave birth just over 4 months ago, I wouldn't have dreamed that by the time my baby was just 4 months old I'd have lost about 2 and a half stone. But I think to me, while some people were telling me in the early days to "give yourself time" and "leave it a few weeks" etc, I think for me I needed to get going straight away. And to be fair, in the early weeks, I didn't do much really apart from watching my weight, and try and not eat too much junk, as in the months after Robert was born, we ate terribly, so many takeaways it was unreal. Then when Christopher was about 6 weeks old, I tried to focus on my problem areas, mainly snacking.

I feel like I am getting snacking under control. And my portion sizes are more appropriate, and I am drinking more. I think my stomach must be shrinking back to a better size, my appetite is less, and I am able to go without a lot of lunch, getting energy I need from fruit, and whatever Robert doesn't finish.

I bought some new bras at the weekend (and actually bought the wrong size again.. oops! I bought a cupsize too small! But hoping that as I lose more weight they'll fit better and I don't keep popping out of them so much! lol) but even though they are nursing bras, they are SEXY! I feel so much more womanly, they give me more figure, and they're so pretty! I got my first complement in AGES from Jonathan when I put it on, and then I got another when I put on a size 16 top I hadn't worn in years. Part of me is itching to buy some new clothes, but I think, if only I can wait, just a little while longer, make do with what I have for the next month or two, then I will be able to get down my size 14 clothes from the loft! And I think to myself how fabulous would that be... just hang on for a while longer Nicola, then you can wear those, and then with more weightloss, you can get down your size 12s... then at your target weight you can go shopping with birthday money.

It feels like this dream is finally coming true, with a little perseverance, a lot of will power, and determination. After gaining the weight steadily for a decade, losing then gaining some again twice or thrice in that time, I feel fantastic for sticking with it all, and amazed that my goal isn't out of reach, it is completely do-able, and I will get there. I will, and I can't wait! And best of all, I am not seeing how I am eating as a diet, as a chore, it has already become second nature. This is a lifestyle change. Now the challenge will be encorporating exercise in to being a lifestyle change.